Behind The Album: Fight Songs

I struggle with sin. I know the good things that I should do and I do not do them. I give in to the desires and passions of my own flesh. But I want to fight. I want to have victorious moments where I flee from temptation. I want to run the race for Christ without hinderance. I want to see the victorious moment of my Savior’s return. I want Christ to increase my faith in the midst of the fight.

Fight Songs is an album that I wrote in 2018 about the believer’s struggle against sin and temptation. The lyrics are dripping with spiritual warfare. I wanted to write some songs that would encourage myself and others in the daily fight against temptation. Not coincidentally, I pastor a youth group called “Fight Club,” whose theme is 1 Timothy 6:12: “Fight the good fight of the faith.” My goal is to show my church family that I’m human and I struggle with sin … But I also have the blessed hope of Christ in the midst of the fight. I want to fight well for the sake of His glory and His kingdom.

So without further ado, you can check out the album on Spotify, iTunes or wherever you consume music. And here are the lyrics to the songs as well as a glimpse into my thought process for each song:

Turn Your Tail and Run
Here is a moment where the Bible seems paradoxical: We fight sin by running from it. We are commanded to flee from sexual sin (1 Corinthians 6:18). We are commanded to run from our idols (1 John 5:21). The Bible repeatedly tells us to RUN. In the same token, we also promised in James 4:7: “Resist the devil and He will flee.” So run away from sin … And tell the Devil to run away from us. The big answer to temptation is RUN, RUN, RUN.

Verse One:
Every day there’s a war inside
In the depth of my heart and my mind
My heart is set against the things of God
And I want to be closer to His love
And so … It’s time to run

Chorus:
Resist the Devil and he will flee
That flesh no longer has a hold on me
Those youthful days are done
Lions want to sink their teeth in me
So when temptations wash over me
It’s all done … Turn your tail and run

Verse Two:
When my flesh rears its ugly head
Gotta duck out and head to the exit

Two Pigs
A song based on a wacky idea: What if the Prodigal Son (in Luke 15) had a conversation with the pig in the pen? He’d probably come to the conclusion they are both the same. They’re just two pigs in need of rescue.

Verse One:
We’re just two pigs rolling in the dirt
Eating filth as our dessert
Singing bar songs to dissident tunes
The black parade of anarchy
Pain is our biography
Decadence is the air we breathe

Chorus:
This wicked heart
Drags me in the mud
Can’t understand
Why I love the dust
So bleach my hands
And drape me now in white
Put to death this pig in me
Peel my flesh & I will be set free

Verse Two:
We’re just two pigs trapped in a pen
Hear the lies and cry amen
Laughing as we drink this bitter gall
Ignoring all the staring eyes
Voyeurs to our own demise
Unaware the ax is coming down

Lancelot
Lancelot was the knight of the round table who was hopelessly in love with the forbidden: A woman betrothed to another. And just like Lancelot, we all fall in love with forbidden fruit. We need the great King to come rescue us from ourselves. A song about how we’ve fallen in love with sin.

Verse One:
Over the hills and the valleys
Commanded to rescue the Queen
And now I’ve gazed in the dark eyes of the forbidden … that I covet
On the edge of the river
Black like the Devil’s stream
Are you healing my wounds or digging your claws in … to my heart

Bridge:
I’d cut off my hands and pluck out my eyes
To keep you away from me
The idle hands and the second glance are a cage

Chorus:
Don’t know what to do that forbidden fruit tastes so sweet
Run as fast as I can but my own two hands are killing me

Verse Two:
Am I the means of your rescue
Or have you abducted me?
Dragged away and enticed by own lust and my desires … once again

Days of Rain
A worship song for dark days. God, I praise the days of rain falling down on me.

Verse One:
Lord it feels like rain today
Something wicked comes my way
Your words they echo in my head
Close to me in my brokenness

Chorus One:
In my darkest hour your hand still is covering me
Through the night when all is quiet your voice still speaks me
Even in the desert when I’m thirst overwhelms me … You are
Days of rain falling down on me
God I praise these days of rain falling down on me

Bridge:
When everything’s wrong
Everything hurts
You’re still working things for good
When everything’s black
Everything’s bitter
You’re still working things for good

Verse Two:
Lord I flinch when suffering will comes
Cause these traumas still will hurt
But these fractures in my skin
Give way to a Heavenly weight

Compel Me
So I actually wrote this song based on a Biblical counseling conference that I attended. The big idea is that we have only seen a teeny bit of the glory of God (Job 26:14). In order to fight sin, we need to see more and more of God … Until God become the compelling force in our lives. As I see God more, I pray that God would push me and compel me more.

Verse One:
You have saved the one who has no pow’r
And I am powerless to see
That You alone have stretched out the Heavens
And you have breathed the life inside me
You have saved the arms that have no strength
And I am so pitifully weak
And You hang the earth on nothing
And the dead they tremble in the deep

Bridge:
I’ve only seen the fringes of You
And the whispers of Your name

Chorus:
Captivate me with Your love
Set my mind on things above
I’ve got to be compelled by You … Push me with Your hands

Verse Two:
You have counseled those who are not wise
And I have this foolishness in me
Knowing You is the dawn of
This brilliant flame inside of me

Ending:
Captivate me
Resurrect me
Come and save me
Push me … push me
Captivate me
Resurrect me
Come and save me
Push me with your hands

The Sun Thief
A song about our struggle against the Devil and dark spiritual forces. This song is about those dark days where you start to listen to the evil being whispered in your ear … The depressing, cloudy days where the sun has been stolen from the sky. In the midst of the fight, hold onto the first Gospel: One day, our God will come and crush the crooked head of the Devil once and for all (Genesis 3:15).

Verse One:
Black umbrellas and work boots today
The sun has been stolen from the center of the sky
Feel like a demon is strapped on my back
Whispering dark lies that flicker through my mind

Chorus:
The enemy of my enemy has never been my friend
He chokes the life right out of me and beats me ’til I bend
And I know that you’re defeated so why do I give in
You’ve stolen the sun … Stolen the sun

Verse Two:
Come back to bed and hide from the light
This hungry lion stalks me outside
Feel like a thief has stolen my delight
Your cunning words would cost me my life

Ending:
You’re a thief … And a murderer … And a liar
You’re a charmer … And a stumbling block … And a siren
And I know one day will God will come a crush your crooked head
You’ve stolen the sun … Stolen the sun

Fox Hunting
While our sins hunt us down to shame and to destroy us, Christ always provides a way of escape (1 Corinthians 10:13). Sin is on the hunt … I’m the prey … And Christ is the way out.

Verse One:
Arrows whistling over my head
Running down the forest path
Dogs are nipping at my heels
Will they lose the scent?

Verse Two:
These demons I conceived
Blossom into the hands of death
Cornered back down in my den
Will I lose my life?

Chorus One:
Run away
To my escape
Need a cure for this disease
Caught unaware
In a snare
In the headlights I will freeze

Chorus Two:
Run with the hare
Escape the hounds
Through the exit I will flee
I’m the prey
And You’re the way
To escape from the fox hunting

Verse Three:
Cold rain makes my bones shiver
Praying for Your hand to deliver
Another round echoes through the forest
Am I done for?

Verse Four:
I’m a hypocrite and a blind guide
But the gate is open wide
Still I’m frozen in my tracks
Why can’t I run?

Grace Street
When you grow older in the faith, you have these false moments of nostalgia where you feel like you used to be more passionate about Christ. You have moments where you feel like you’ve fallen away from your first love. You remember how your faith burned bright and you ache for former times. Sometimes I feel like I’ve seen too many miles and too many faces … Sometimes I wish things were back to how they were on Grace Street …

Verse One:
Down on the Boulevard
Where chains and bars held storefronts shut tight
I ran the alleyways
Where we laughed well after the stroke of midnight
And when I go back now
It’s a place I no longer recognize
Polished and perfect … Symmetrical lines
It’s a place where joy and pain collide

Bridge:
We used to close down every record shop
And run with our hands held high
And now I just feel so tired and beat down
Where is the fire I had inside?

Chorus:
Too many miles and too many faces
Every monument square has changed
Running away as fast I can down Grace Street
Too many shadows – Too many fights
The scales are falling down from my eyes
Can we get back to what we had on Grace Street?
Down on Grace Street

Verse Two:
Under the overpass
Where locks and gates held back the dirty river
We’d go to every show
And sing out cause we knew we were delivered
And now there’s bitterness
A heart of stone where all my flesh should be
So many regrets when I clinch my hands
Fractured and hollow memories

Bridge 2:
The thorns of the world are ripping my flesh
And I just want to be set free
All of my fears and bitterness
You’ve drowned them in victory

The Beautiful Nothing
A song about the beauty of God’s grace lifting the weight of sin off our shoulders. In Christ alone, we have the amazing feeling of freedom, where nothing is weighing us down anymore. And “the old man” in this song refers to the old creation or the flesh living within me … Not my dad.

Verse One:
Dead weight hanging on my shoulders pulling me down
The old man’s yelling at me saying I’m no good
And I think that I’m missing out on something real
While I’m wasting time with so far to climb and I need a reprieve

Chorus:
So I lift up my hands and rejoice in defeat
Let this beautiful nothing wash down over me

Verse Two:
Pushing dead weight up the hill and it rolls back down
This yoke is built for two but my stubborn heart drowns
And I think that I’m holding on to something fake
Gotta bury the past … Be free at last … Drown these dreams

Verse Three:
Dead weight hanging on my shoulders pulling me down
And I’m wasting time with so far to climb and I need a reprieve

Simple
The whole point of this song was to write a simple song that wasn’t actually simple, so this one is kind of an exercise in self-indulgence. It’s a song about stumbling in the faith … While the actual music is stumbling in its time signatures.

Verse One:
Fumbling close to the edge
Tumbling down the mountainside
All my monuments hypnotize
Shut my eyes and drift away

Bridge:
And that mountain crumbles in my hands into dust
And my cape trips me up and start to strange me

Chorus:
It’s simple to stumble
Easy to fall
Slow to turn around and quick to lose it all
It’s simple to be blind
And easy to see
Why You are the only good in me

Verse Two:
Vict’ry of the mountaintop
Turns into an echo chamber
Snakes are slithering up my neck
I don’t seem to know the danger

You Bet Your Life
Life is short. Wager wisely.

Verse One:
You yelled I’ll never be like you
With fury in your face
Shook your head and walked away
Now and then I see you again
The silence in the hymns
I kick off the dust and I pray

Bridge:
In the blink of an eye, all will change

Chorus:
And suddenly you’re gone
Waving goodbye
Shooting like star into the eastern sky
Suddenly you’re old
Thought you’d never die
Wagered your soul
You bet your life

Verse Two:
Lying in the wreckage
Of a life moving too fast
Pick up speed and cruise away
Stubborn hearts … Unbending knees
And resistant ears
Never thinking the end will come

Whittingham
Whittingham is the name of a real, abandoned mental asylum in England, which folks now say is haunted. This song is about a bunch of inmates escaping the asylum. One day, we’ll leave the insanity of this life and reach the peaceful shores of Heaven. Let’s escape together.

Verse One:
Something seems brighter with the world today
The colors shining phosphorescently
Rolled up the bedsheets and I escaped
Soon the dogs will be out searching for me

Bridge:
Think I’m a fool
But I found the truth

Chorus:
Now I’ve escaped from Whittingham
White and sterile rooms
No one else seems happy there
They’re singing evil tunes
If you want to find me … I’ll be home soon
I’ll be sailing over the moon

Verse Two:
Something seems clearer with the world today
Seems I’ve come down from all the Novocain
Snuck past the guards … Stolen the key
Push past the double doors and now I am free

Everything Else Is Shifting Sand
If I were honest, my life really doesn’t look like the hymn: “On Christ the Solid Rock.” I place way too much trust in the shifting sand of my life. I’m blinded to my own devices and my own sins. But I long to be found on the solid rock and firm foundation of Christ. Lord, please plant me there on peaceful shores. Rescue me, God, from shifting sand.

Verse One:
If I were to be honest
My hope is built on something less
I trust in my own righteousness
To pull myself out of this mess

Verse Two:
I made this trap with my own hands
My evil convoluted plans
So now I sit drowning in dust
Comfortable in my own rust

Chorus:
Drowning under shifting sand
And blinded to the truth
Drowning under shifting sand
My only hope is You

Verse Three:
Each step I take marches to my grave
I’m broken and beaten as a slave
My righteousness is filthiness
So I call to You in my distress

Ending:
On Christ the solid rock I stand
I’m done with all the shifting sand

All songs written and copyright held by Matt Higgins (2018).

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BLACK CLOUD

I’ve wrapped up another album, which is entitled “Black Cloud.” The album explores the weighty topic of the sovereignty of God in the midst of trial and suffering. I’ve got a FREE sampler now available on Noisetrade … So please check it out! The complete album will be available on iTunes and everywhere else digital music is sold by the end of July. Thank you for supporting this extension of my ministry!